Continuing with the first round action in the meat region...
1 bacon versus 16 beef jerkey
I don't need to answer this one.
8 corned beef versus 9 pastrami
Pastrami smokes corned beef in this match up, for the simple reason that pastrami is, well, smoked.
6 Lobster versus 11 smoked salmon
Lobster had a tight hold on salmon early in the game but salmon is both smoked and cured, and they therefore prevailed.
4 hamburger versus 13 short ribs
Followers of this blog will know that shorts ribs easily pulled off the big 13-4 upset here. Short ribs maintained the team connection throughout the game, despite the fact that all their connective tissue was in fact turned into gelatin during the braising process.
3 hot dog versus 14 pork belly
The big pork throwdown baby! Or maybe not, considering I really have no idea what goes into the majority of hot dogs I've eaten. Pork belly is just too fatty and meaty and flavorful, and though fat probably won't help you out on the court, pork belly gets the W here.
5 Rib Eye versus 12 duck confit
This was tough... before we cooked the duck legs in duck fat for 8 hours. My appreciation for food that has a sort of process in creating it (rather than juts slap a steak on the grill for 5 minutes) gives duck confit the edge.
7 fried chicken versus 10 pulled pork
Pork pulled out all the stops for this came, but fried chicken's shot was like butter (milk that is). Ultimately a really close game, but fried chicken gets the edge, kinda just because I have a strange affection for it.
2 Fillet Mignon versus 15 prosciutto
Fillet Mignon, you're boring. I can never get excited to eat a fillet. Prosciutto had problems early in the game, but they were "cured" come second half. Also, like one commenter said, prosciutto is 10X more flavorful.
Onto the desserts!
1 Vanilla Ice Cream Versus 16 Carrot Cake
Can is really happen? Is it possible? Yes it is, a 16 beets a one for the 1st time in history. Carrot cake, notorious for their great full-court vision, sends vanilla back to Tahiti with a 15 point rout.
8 soft serve ice cream versus 9 cinnamon bun
I love soft serve, but ever since I was introduced to your scent, cb, in the bathroom of a highway roadstop, we've had a special connection.
6 apple pie versus 11 cupcakes
America is rooting for you apple pie, and you just creamed those cupcakes in this 20-point rout.
4 brownies versus 13 pecan pie
This was the equivalent of that Uconn-Syracuse 6 OT thriller in the big east tourney. Like in that game, the lower seed wins. "Oh fudge" was the only response from the brownie coach.
3 Choco Chip versus 14 pound cake
If you think pound cake should win, you haven't tried this cookie recipe. Great Job ccc's, give me some brown sugga.
5 doughnuts versus 12 cheesecake
Doughnuts are unsubstantial, but cheesecake is rich and decadent and filling. Oh yea, and it's made of cheese. Cheesecake wins.
7 reese's versus 10 fudge
You're delicious reese's but ever since I realized that I could make a better version of you at home, you've lost your appeal. Fudge, since I never eat you unless I'm on the Ocean City boardwalk, I always want you. You win.
2 Oreos versus 15 dark chocolate
I'd be a pretentious snob if I picked dark chocolate. Anyway, where's the cream filling? Gotta go with oreos.
I'm really not sure why I gave a lot of those results in 2nd person as if I was talking to the food. Actually, that makes perfect sense now that I think about it.
I'm kinda getting sick of these corny food related jokes, and I'm sure you are too. I'll tone it down in future rounds.