It took me a long time to decide whether I wanted to write this post. I couldn’t decide if it would be too childish; whether it would be appropriate for the blog; whether I would be too embarrassed to allow people I know to see this. But I like my idea for this post. I like the message, and as I write it I’m realizing that this blog is a friend I’m becoming more and more comfortable with. That’s a good thing.
I’m unlike my friends in that I just don’t “get with” girls. I haven’t in quite a long time, and I won’t anytime soon. There have been opportunities, but I’m patient. I bide my time, not compromising my standards, and wait. It’s often not the cool thing to do, and it certainly doesn’t earn me respect amongst my friends, but I’m proud of that trait.
Just last night I decided that it was finally time to tell a girl that I’ve liked for quite a long time, that I liked her. This girl is “the restaurant that I’ve been saving up for.” Turns out the feeling wasn’t mutual.
I was definitely upset when I heard the news, but I look at the situation now and I’m happy. I’m happy that I waited around even though it didn’t work out. I’m happy I didn’t submit. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I will stay the same. Last night I went to the great chef’s event (which I will write more about later) which is a fundraiser held for Alex’s Lemonade Stand every year at a restaurant in Philadelphia, which brings together some incredible chefs who set up stations and each put out a small dish. I went from station to station, Colicchio to Benno to Vetri, and realized that these guys really aren’t too different than me. They would certainly not be where they are if they had compromised their standards. Though this is usually not the popular choice, this mindset is quite admirable, and ultimately, rewarding.
24 comments:
great post! glad you shared.
It always sucks when that happens (the lack of reciprocation), but it always happens for a reason - there's someone out there who will be better for you. There's a lot of time left for girls and such, just focus on you being the best you you can be, and thing will fall into place. ^_^
Thanks for taking the chance on telling us (your readers).
wow, how was the great chefs event? I was just looking at the participating chefs list and it is very very impressive
What's the point of having standards if they don't mean enough to you to try to uphold them? Otherwise you're just reckless - which is dangerous in the kitchen and in life.
I entirely agree. I'm the same exact way. In fact, I sometimes avoid relationships during the school year because I really just don't have the time.
Don't worry about what your friends think. Only you know what's best for you. All you need to do is look around you and see the pain all of this "getting with" people causes like unwanted babies, abortions and STIs, not to mention the constant dating drama. You certainly don't need any of that! In the long run you will be the one that ends up in the better place. How do I know this? Because my son, who is now 24 and free of all that drama, is just like you. He's not some religious zealot, or even a virgin, but he's also not a "man whore." He's just grown up to be a good, loving, responsible man that a mother (and a future spouse) can really be proud of, and you will be, too.
If you want the women, let them chase you. Actions speak louder than words and telling her that you liked her ruined the sense of "chase" and "mystery" that women enjoy so much.
You've got the right idea in not compromising your standards. Keep doing what you're doing, you'll be a Don Juan.
hey nick, don't worry about the girl. wait a few years and girls and women will truly appreciate you for the person that you are. and based on your writing, you are a special dude. both in the kitchen and as a writer.
keep up the great work.
ps. i made your ultimate chocolate chunk cookies!!!! they came out INCREDIBLY.
www.sergeeats.com
If only there was a recipe.
I wish I could say that it gets easier, understanding and relating to women. It doesn't. Somewhere along the way, all the elements work out and you find a relationship that works. Sixty percent of it is all in your head, the other half is the irrational nature of attraction. When you are least expecting it, you may be surprised.
In the meantime, you get to listen to your peers' boasts and exaggerations. There is the double edged sword of relationships: You can easily "get with" females without ever "getting" them.
Who said God doesn't have a sense of humor? Giving adolescents all these hormones at a time when their emotions are raw nerves is a little cruel.
It gets a little easier after you are fifty and don't really care as much! Screw it! What's for lunch
My husband first told me he loved me when I was 14. Scared me to death. A few years later, he tried again and I was a little bit braver by then. Yesterday we celebrated our 14th anniversary. It's the patient ones who win in the end...
Nick, When I read your blog and see how much you love cooking at 16, I just think back at how I wish I was that interested in something when I was your age. How I wish my son, who is 19,(oops just turned 20 yesterday lol) was that interested in something like you are. Now is the time to really have a passion for something,(other then girls,lol) it will make you a great man one day. You will find that perfect girl when the time is right for you. Dont worry about what anyone else thinks. When you do find her,and she finds out you can cook, look out!!!!!! HaHa, she will be lovin you!!!!! Women love a man that can cook Ok Im done now. Love reading your blog, even tho Im old enough to be your mom, lol I love to read all about your food, or whatever is going on with you. You sound like a great kid, ummmm, boy, uuuuum teenager??? lol
i agree with everyone. keep looking nick, you deserve someone great.
I'm perusing your blog for the first time and it is amazing. You have excellent taste and you write wonderful posts. Miss Right will pop into your life when you least expect it.
Relationships are always worth the wait :) It's awesome that you've taken the time to recognize this and won't lower your standards. Not many people our age uphold their values, but tend to just jump into situations that will totally bring them down. Thumbs up to your wisdom and awesome blog! :)
Samantha
very cool to stick to who you are and not let others influence you (except in the right way - ie: chefs). risks are good - but taking risks are scary. you're dipping your toes in the waters your way. that's totally cool as long as you do dip! welcome to life... the right one will be there at the time it's supposed to! until then, keep dipping your toes in the waters (if that makes sense)when appropriate and remember what your priorities are. thanks for sharing! you've got a good head on your shoulders.
hey you
sorry i've been absent
life and more life
let me tell you just one thing
and please listen to me here, ok?
and it won't make you feel any better right now - not that you're feeling badly - but i realize that we can't live in our futures and what will be then can rarely substitutes for what you have now.
regardless, i am TELLING YOU that in time, you will meet the most awesome girl. and she will totally get you. and she'll be cool and gorgeous and smart - and you know why you'll be with her? because you, my friend are a total cut above. and when i say that it's only because not only do i mean it but because i know from such things...
and chefs are like rock stars. so that girl? one day she might be saying, "wow, i missed out." and you'll be off and running...
stay the course.
you
are
awesome
geeze you guys are nice
!!!
Nick, you're such a handsome guy and what woman doesn't love a man who cooks?! The right one will come along when you least expect it.
I think it's great that you told her you liked her. I don't know what Anonymous is talking about, but personally I don't like mystery. In fact, I bet he might be surprised to know that we women sit around sometimes and think, "Hm, does he like me? He did _____, what do you think that means?" When someone tells us, it's great. So good for you for being brave enough to man up and tell her yourself rather than making someone guess!
Don't ever let anyone tell you not to hold out for your standards. I held out for my standards and went on my first date at the age of 24. That was in 2007. In less than 3 weeks, we'll be married. He was simply the one. A lot of people ridiculed me for not going out with whoever came along saying I was too picky or I would always be alone or that maybe I was a homosexual and hadn't realized it yet. None of the above were true. The truth was, if I knew somebody wasn't right for me, why would I waste my time and theirs? The relationship would only leave us both with more baggage to carry into the next relationship.
Not a lot of teenagers are wise enough to see the value in holding out for their standards. It may not earn you respect among your peers now, but later in life that trait definitely will because it is so rare. Our society is more about instant gratification than waiting on what's best. Somebody who is willing to wait and not jump at every opportunity or potential partner will definitely go far.
Nick, you're so dreamy....
I married a chef because I can't cook worth a damn. And because he looks so cute from behind when he's saute-ing something. Stick with your talent and your profession -- the ladies love it.
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